Dear Emily

IIf I could kill you, I'd first start by taking you to Boston Market and making you gorge yourself on sausages, mashed potatos, turduckens, and meatloaf. Yes, this may sound delicious, but what you wouldn't know until 30 minutes later is that all of the food was made with bodily fluids of homeless men from Baltimore. And yes, they all had AIDS. Then I'd ICE you 180 times.. While you are drunk driving to the hospital to get a tetanus shot and and IV of hardcore vitamins, I'd run you over with an 18 wheeler full of duck eggs and vinegar. You would be stranded on the super highway in NJ while car after car ran you over and mixed your flesh with eggs and vinegar. You would be so scrambled, and covered in egg shells, that they would discard your body into a roadside ditch where werewolves would begin to lick your wounds and nibble at your nipples and sensitive bits. It would be painful. Then a mountain man would find your near-death body, and bring you back to his cabin, rape, then roast you. He would feed the leftovers to rats.
xoxo hANNAH

To my sweet dearest darling Sarah,

if I could kill you, I would first cover your whole body with super duper sticky stuff and catapult you onto a billboard where you would stick and be eaten by bugs and roasted by the hot sun for 3 days. Then I would rip you off, ripping off all of your back skin and take you to a kids soccer game where all the evil little boys will stomp on your back with their cleats, when your whole back is pulverized I will then take a hole puncher and hole punch your cheeks as well as your weenus skin and then make you gargle with bleach while crawling on your elbows through a feild of hypodermic needles. Next I will put you in a dark room with millions of bees and evil laughter until you die of aids and beestings.

Love,

ermilayy

Dear Christine,

If I could kill you I would cut off all of your non life-giving extremities, juice them, make you drink them mixed with old chunky baileys from a shoe then put you in the ocean and let jelly fish sting sting you until your so itchy you could dir. Then we will shove your face into the ceiling fan while we purree habeneros and stick them into all your body cavities and then have a morbidly obese person sit on you and feed you kfc until you explode.

Love,

Emily, Hannah, and Abby.