Dear Emily

To my dearest emily. I am so excited about taking a trip to seattle with you in january. It will prove to give me a wonderful opportunity to have my fun with you. I'll let you live on the plane ride there since I need someone to hang out with for the trip. The second we get there Ill tell you we are going to my sisters but instead I will take you to a popular bike trail near her house and tie you to the ground as all the fit seattle people ride their bikes all over you. While you are being trampled I will be enjoying me sisters company. Once we are done 5 bottles of wine I will come back to get you and you will be flat as a boob post mammogram. I will then parade you around the markets of seattle to show off my freak of a friend and make millions of dollars because you look so insane. Since I have become a world class fisher thanks to your dad I decide to start a fishing company in seattle and and use you as my bait. Since you have been flattened to such a thin pancake you now literally are the width of a football field. I then hire a bunch of mexicans to begin to slice you into 1 inch squares that I will use as my bait. My fishing company becomes very successful becuase of your sweet emily skin so everyday I flatten you out even more to make more of what is left of you rotting fleshy corpse. Finally there is so little of you left that I decide it would only be humane to stop using you as bait. By this time I am so rich that I can afford to keep you alive through life generators even though all the doctors tell me it is only causing pain to you. I could never cause any harm to my oldest friend! Eventually though my fishing money stars to get thin so I say fuck it and pull the plug on the machine and then feed you to my new dog pete
love abby