dear all friends

Dear all my friends that I have missed dearly,
1.. can't wait to see you all in december (not).
2. if i could kill you, when i kill you on december 12, i will first make you all chug o'doules non-alcoholic beer from 70 ft beer bongs until your stomachs pop. when the stomach volcano erupts, i will make sure that emily is positioned in front of christine's belly, mouth open. chrstine would be in front of abby, and abby in front of emily. thus, as the explosions come, you all would have some sort of sick love triangle of vomit being quickly forced into your mouths, and then explode from the abdomen again. this cycle would continue for 30 days and 30 nights, untill i would come and feed you all oysters and mussels and "Flamin Hot cheetos" ,which are quite delicious, but would burn your throat and stomach wounds so much until you wanted to truly die on the spot. i would then rub salt and vinegar on your wounds, all three of you, until you cried uncle. of course i wouldnt stop. i would bring you to africa, where it is hot and everyone has aids and is starving and make you give them fellatio until your tongues fall off. then, after they are all satisfied sexually, they would then begin to feel hunger pangs. they would skewer you like a kebab, and then roast you over a giant bonfire. at this time, it would be 120 degrees farenheit in the air, but the fire would be burning at approximately 1000 degrees farenheit. you would be high enough from the fire that it would burn off the top layer of all your skin, but you would be alive (like when you burn a marshmellow in the fire and ripe off the black crunchy crust and all is gooey inside- thats you). i would then rub your body in sawdust, shave off peices of your flesh, grind that shit up, and feed it to University of Washington students at Chipotle. Then, i'd kill you while you were watching them eat you in a fresh corn tortilla.